Just 'Cuz

There's a Cutest Baby contest on the Gerber website or some shizz. I took this picture in hopes of entering it but then I thought of how sad people would be when the internet exploded.

Panic

Yes, hello, I was just looking through my pictures and realized I had been sending this one out WITH VISIBLE SHOWER MOLD!! The one thing that has slipped the most since having a child - cleaning - clearly.

UPDATE: Everyone can relax, the grout has been cleaned. My life has regained some sort of balance. I don't know what happened. I am ashamed and deeply apologetic.

Here Comes Peter Cottontail

Easter 2009 - Check the overtly feminine sweater.

Warning: This Post Contains Disgusting Content

Mine eyes have seen a very bad, bad thing. A thing I shared with one of my best friends this morning, but failed to share in full b/c it was just too horrific. I will inflict the entire story on all of you reader now. Picture this: I had Littlest J smartly dressed in a super cute outfit, visible in the photo at right, and securly snapped into his bouncey chair. He was happily sitting in the hallway while I got dressed for work just bouncing away. My husband came home from letting a friend's dogs out and picked our son up. This is where things went south...I noticed something that looked like mud on the floor and asked if he had stepped in mud b/c it was coming off of his shoes. I then noticed the same "muddish" looking substance on the bathroom floor where he was standing gazing into the mirror with Littlest. It clicked and as I looked up to scream, "Nooooooo, it's not muuuuuddd, it's pooooooop! There's pooooop cooming from his shoooorts!" I saw B sniff Littlest's butt and gag. We looked at each other - Bad Smell From Baby's Shorts + Trail of What Looks Like Mud = Explosive Poo Situation. Gagging louder now he ran itno the baby's room noticing then that he had been hit in the arm by poop shrapnel. Now this alone would have been just a funny incident to chalk up to those darn babies. But the story doesn't end there. Our dog Pete had been licking the chair where Littlest had been sitting the whole time, which didn't strike me as odd b/c sadly enough the dogs love to lick spitup which I have come to accept so you should too, but there was no spitup to be licked in that chair on this particular morn. No, no spitup. Oh but there was poop. While I stood there in shock he proceeded to walk into the bathroom and clean up the rest of the mess - with his mouth. Dear God and Baby Jesus. I will leave you with that and the sound of me gagging.

Unbe-weave-able

Over the past several days I have been tracking the movements of a stray hair extension one street over from my house. First, it simply sat there at the four way stop, like a lost lamb, then the rain came and the weave became a matted mess, hardly recognizable from its original state. As the days have passed the matted mane has moved a few feet to the left, inching ever closer to my house. I was tempted to take a picture the first time I saw it and email it to friends in case they were in the midst of a panic, looking for said lost weave, but I was afraid I would hold up traffic. And now the rain soaked lock really isn’t much to look at. My thought here is this...why in the hell am I raising my child in a neighborhood where a weave in the street isn't so truly, well, unbeweaveable? But alas, I love my 'hood and hope that the diversity that surrounds us will instill a sense of acceptance in my tine-tine baybay. And if that doesn't take at least he will have cat-like reflexes from dodging bullets and a never ending selection of hair accessories.

Drunken Hippie Baby

At first I thought babies were like tiny drunks. Always falling over, peeing and crapping in their pants, easily moving from laughter to tears and of course the spitting up all over themselves. After watching Littles J at lunch on Saturday I think he's moved on to harder substances. Now he looks more like a little acid tripping hippie. It's all about the cooooolooors and duuuude look at the fan, isn't is craaazy? It just goes round and round and round. Oh and this blanket, feel this blanket, it's like alive and it feels so good on my face. I just want to rub it all over my face.

Yeah, I just noticed that. Aaaand that's it really. Deep huh?

My Mens

I've been with Cornbread's dad for 6 years, wait, 7 years, or is it 8 years? Let's put it this way, we've been married for almost two years and we dated for a longass time before that. He stays home with Cornbread right now while he's in school and working a few days a week at a job. Basically he has three jobs - four if you count putting up with me. He's got a full plate and I know sometimes he gets a little overwhelmed and wishes he could go to a regular 9 to 5 job every day like me and hang out with adults. But he's doing great. I give him all of the credit for the progress Cornbread has made. I noticed how much better he is sitting up while I was bathing him tonight and realized that if it wasn't for B staying home with him and loving him enough to care for him, really care for him and take the time with him he probably wouldn't be where he is right now. I'm really thankful for that. Alot of men wouldn't even consider staying home and while I know our untraditional rolls can cause issues with us both from time to time I think it takes a real man to do what he is doing. Who better for my little man to learn from?